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Qandi Gull and Nadia Get Help from WAW

The Fall Newsletter of Women for Afghan Women (WAW),  “Itihad-e-Zan” meaning “Community of Women,”  just published these profiles of two women from Afghanistan who were in dire straits and needing help.   You’ll read about what a tremendous difference this organization makes.

AFGHANISTAN: Qandi Gul’s Story

Qandi Gul was born in Kunduz province. When she was 16, her family arranged her engagement. Immediately after the engagement was arranged, however, the Taliban took control of Afghanistan, and a repressive environment for women was established.

When Qandi Gul’s fiancé came to get her, Qandi Gul’s mother would not let her go—the men in the family were away and there was no one at home to help make sure the transition was safe. The fiancé came back with Taliban members, who whipped Qandi Gul to punish her for not obeying her future husband. Fearing for Qandi Gul’s safety, her mother had no choice but to give her daughter over to be married.

Unfortunately, Qandi Gul’s marriage followed a common pattern: her husband beat her regularly, and she was not allowed to visit relatives or friends. Her husband took control of a piece of land she owned. Then after five years, he married a second wife. In a final insult, Qandi Gul’s husband took her and her newborn baby to his brother’s, where he informed her she would be living from now on. She had no choice but to comply. After a few years, her husband came back—to take her child from her.

Qandi Gul learned about WAW’s Family Guidance Centre in her community and went there for help. Initially she wanted assistance in getting a divorce, but after some sessions with a WAW counselor, Qandi decided that she would prefer to have her family back together.

WAW counselors make sure their clients know they’ve been heard. So Qandi Gul, her husband and a WAW caseworker started counseling and mediation. After eight sessions, they agreed to refer the matter to a jirga, an Afghan community decision-making model.

Qandi and her husband appeared before the jirga, which made the following decisions:

1. Qandi Gul’s husband would return posession of her land to her.
2. Qandi Gul would get a separate home, which her husband would furnish.
3. Both wives would have equal rights.
4. Qandi Gul would be permitted to visit relatives and friends.
5. Qandi Gul’s children would again be allowed to live with her.

We are happy to report that Qandi’s husband complied with all the jirga’s decisions. He learned to respect the legal process—and WAW’s Family Guidance Center and staff. Most of all, he was impressed by his wife’s tenacity and determination to get her life back. He has committed to rebuilding their life together with their four children.

Qandi Gul has found a new happiness and freedom, and the family has begun a new life.

QUEENS: Nadia’s Story

One afternoon, we received a troubling phone call in our Queens office. The caller reported that there was a young Afghan woman in the park—she was crying and couldn’t make herself understood to those trying to help her because she did not speak English. We immediately went to the park, brought her to the WAW office.

She said her name was Nadia, and started telling us her story. At just 17, she married her second cousin, a US citizen. Three years later, Nadia finally got her visa and came to the United States. When she arrived, things were not as she planned. Her husband already had a new girlfriend, and he told Nadia that he had only married her and brought her to the US because the family had forced him. He sent Nadia to live with his father and two sisters.

Nadia’s time with her in-laws was a living hell. She was frequently beaten by her sister-in-law, who also threatened to kill her if she called the police. “She used to beat me up and then she would pick up the phone and tell me that if I told anyone, she would call my father in Kabul,” Nadia said. She knew she was trapped: disrespecting her in-laws would bring disgrace on her family.

Finally, Nadia was hospitalized after a particularly brutal beating, and the hospital called the police. When they arrived, Nadia was afraid, and lied to them about the source of her injuries. After four nights of hospitalization, she returned to her father-in-law’s house, where her sister-in-law now refused to let her enter. And her inlaws didn’t just kick her out of their home: they took her greencard, Social Security card, passport and Medicaid card. Nadia was now homeless and nameless; completely vulnerable to the legal system. And that’s when WAW staff found her in the park.

WAW has given Nadia a safe home for the past three months. She takes English classes, and has found work as a babysitter. We are also helping her navigate the system to replace all of her legal documents. We are excited to continue to support Nadia, and assist her in taking the steps necessary to become self–sufficient and secure in her future.

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“Remembering Carrie”

During Veteran’s Day week we remember and honor all our fallen soldiers including Army Spc. Carrie French, 19, of Caldwell, Idaho who died June 5, 2005 when an improvised explosive device hit the front of her convoy vehicle and detonated in Kirkuk, Iraq.  She was promoted to corporal posthumously.

She was the first female soldier from Idaho killed in Operation Iraqi Freedom.  Her nine medals include the Bronze Star and Purple Heart.

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“Ann Jones Writes About the Effects of War on Women in New Book”

Ann Jones, writer-photographer and human aid worker, has just published a compelling book about the impact war has had on women. “War is Not Over When It’s Over: Women Speak Out from the Ruins of War” talks about war not being what we think it is.

On the radio program “Democracy Now” Ann says what isn’t mentioned is that war includes the whole population. Civilians are the prime casualty, but it’s women who pay the highest price. In fact, she says that we are short 60 million women in this world who have been killed in wars.

On behalf of the International Rescue Committee (the IRC), Ann spent two years traveling thruout Africa, East Asia, and the Middle East, giving digital cameras to women to tell the world what war had done to their lives. She says the women spoke up loudly and gave blue prints for peace.

Ann’s the author of seven books including “Kabul in Winter,” “Next Time She’ll Be Dead,” and “Women Who Kill.”

One review: Dramatic and compelling, animated by the voices of brave and resourceful women, the book shines a powerful light on a phenomenon that has long been cast in shadow.

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“Remembering Filmmaker Gail Dolgin”

Berkeley independent filmmaker Gail Dolgin passed away on October 7 after a long battle with cancer.  Gail was an old friend of mine from the University of Pennsylvania whom I remember fondly from an adventuresome journey we took many years ago across Europe.

We lost track of each other after that trek, but it would always be remembered as the trip of a lifetime, driving some 10,000 miles in a tiny Renault in the search of paintings from our art history classes wherever we could find them.

Gail became a well respected documentary filmmaker and producer in the Bay Area.  Her film “Daughter from Danang” won the Sundance Grand Jury Award and also a 2002 Academy Award nomination.  It later aired on PBS’s primetime series “American Experience.”

"Daughter from Danang"

This film documented the journey of an Amerasian girl going to meet her mother in Vietnam after a 22-year separation.  Gail heard about the daughter’s plans to take this emotional journey back to Danang and six weeks later was in Vietnam.

Vicente Franco, the co-director, remembered Gail this week as a person with a big heart, a big soul, and a big intellect.   There is a very interesting interview with them about the making of the movie at the “Daughter from Danang” website.

Richard Saiz, Senior Programming Manager of ITVS, the company that funded the documentary, paid tribute to Gail in a Beyond the Box blog:  “Her passing is a huge loss for all of us who care about the art and craft of the documentary.”

Gail was an exceptional filmmaker and special friend.   She will be sorely missed.

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“Women in the SNCC”

Six women active in the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee otherwise known as the SNCC which was formed in 1960 have put together their own stories and those of others active in the organization in a new book. “Hands on the Freedom Plow” documents these women’s experiences in their struggle for human rights.

The Women’s Voices for Change website has a wonderful review of the book, giving accolades to these students who were on the forefront of desegregation in the South. As the article says, “theirs was a nearly impossible task and the dangers they faced daily defy comprehension.”

The review says that these are “remarkable true stories from women who were young, old, educated and not, rural and urban, black white, and Latina whose collective actions made a real difference.” The women will be making appearances around the country. Here’s the current schedule. If they’re in your area, I wouldn’t miss meeting them.

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Fatima Bhutto: “Songs of Blood and Sword”

Fatima Bhutto has written a powerful new memoir entitled “Songs of Blood and Sword.” It’s a loving tribute to her father, Mir Murtaza Bhutto.

There is an exclusive excerpt available at the Daily Beast now that describes the painful night he was shot dead near the family’s residence in 1996 as he was returning from a political rally.

There has been extraordinary violence in her family. Her grandfather Zulfikar Ali Bhutto was hanged, her uncle Shahnawaz Bhutto was poisoned, and her aunt Benazir Bhutto was assassinated in 2007 while running for office. She writes, “I cried for the next five days. By the time I had drained myself of tears I had cried for everyone.”

Fatima is still seeking justice for her father’s murder and speaks about it in this interview done by the BBC.

This is Fatima’s third book. She is a writer and a poet living in Karachi, Pakistan. You can find out more about her writing on her website. Read her opening words, “A Hundred Beats.” It will make you want to continue…

Fatima has been interviewed by Your Call on KALW 91.7 in the Bay area. I understand there are podcasts available.

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“Photography Through Saudi Women’s Eyes”

I just came across this fascinating new book by trail-blazing Saudi photographer Rania A. Razek. It’s a collection of work from dozens of Saudi Arabian women photographers. It was not until recently that the ban was lifted on public photography there.

The photographs were taken in a variety of places in their country and around the world.

There was a first of its kind exhibit of these photos at the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia this summer in Washington, D.C. You can learn more about Rania and the exhibit on this video Saudi Women Photograph Their World by the BBC.

Here are two photos from the book “Photography Through the Eyes of Saudi Arabian Women”:

Photo: Ranya Hain Jamjoon

Photo: Hind Mansour Talal

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“Husbands Who Bring the War Home”

Military wife and author Stacy Bannerman’s article in the Daily Beast, “Husbands Who Bring the War Home,” is an eye-opening and chilling story about soldiers who become domestic abusers when they return from the war zone.

Stacy is the author of “When the War Came Home: The Inside Story of Reservists and the Families They Leave Behind,” published in 2006. She’s the founder and director of Sanctuary Weekends for Women Veterans.

You can check out her website and read about her valiant efforts to improve support and services for military families.

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“A Daughter’s Plea”

Sarah Levinson makes a valiant plea in the Huffington Post for people to remember her father Robert “Bob” Levison, an American citizen who’s been missing in Iran for the past three and a half years.

Her family has no more information than when her dad first disappeared. She says that the “joy has all but disappeared for my family…graduations have lost significance…birthdays are incomplete… anniversaries are insufferable.”

She recently married and was sorry that her father was  not be able to walk her down the aisle.    She’s asking all to remember him.

Sarah and fiance Ryan/Photo: Help Bob Levinson

This is a very moving story. She’s pleading with the governments of Iran and the United States on her family’s website to do everything they can  to find her father and send him home.

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Waiting for “Superman”

This controversial documentary by the filmmaker of “An Inconvenient Truth”, Davis Guggenheim, has opened to much fanfare and controversy.

It’s message is loud and clear–the public education system has failed this nation’s children; this generation will be less literate; and our kids are participants in a system that’s broken.

It’s been called “compelling”, “exhilarating”, “heartbreaking”, and “shocking.”

“This movie is going to create a sense of outrage,” says Arne Duncan, President Obama’s Secretary of Education in an article called “Schools: The Disaster Movie” in  New York Magazine, which gives an in depth look at the film and its message. Guggenheim insists “it’s pro kids.” You be the judge.

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“What Waters Washed Away”

This foreignpolicy.com story by Rania Abouzeid describes the ongoing dire circumstances for families in Pakistan as a result of the recent floods. Refugees have lost everything.

The article reports positive news from UNIFEM, a UN organization that promotes women’s rights, that community-based organizations are distributing aid to women, recognizing them as important providers for their families.

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“Promise Me”

Nancy Brinker’s memoir, “Promise Me: How a Sister’s Love Launched the Global Movement to End Breast Cancer,” has just been released. This former ambassador is interviewed in this article from the Palm Beach Daily News about why she wrote this compelling book in honor of her sister.

Nancy promised her sister Susan Komen just before she died at age 36 that she’d try to find a cure for the disease. As she was dealing with that challenge, she had to fight her own battle against breast cancer. Nancy founded Susan G. Komen For the Cure, the largest private funder of breast cancer research in the world.

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“Servicing on September 11”

This article Serving on September 11 in the Huffington Post by Marie Tillman, fiance of Pat Tillman who left a pro football career to enlist in the Army after 9/11, describes the meaning of the 9/11 anniversary weekend to her.

Marie took the tragedy of Pat’s untimely death while serving in Afghanistan and turned it into the Pat Tillman Foundation.  This group assists veterans and their families through educational resources and advocacy.

Marie joined with Michelle Obama on Saturday to help renovate the Vincent Hall Retirement Community, a veteran’s facility,  in McLain, Virginia.

Don’t miss this moving article in the Post and the information about her foundation.

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“The Healers of 9/11”

Susan Retik Receives Special Medal from President Obama

A must-read is this article The Healers of 9/11 in the New York Times by op-ed columnist Nicholas Kristof.  He describes the journey of Susan Retik and Patti Quigley, the founders of Beyond the 11th,  to build an organization that has assisted more than 1,000 Afghan widows.

The story details an event during the 9/11 weekend where Susan, a Jewish woman who lost her husband on 9/11, will speak at a mosque in Boston to try to recruit members to join her battle against poverty and illiteracy in Afghanistan.

A documentary “Beyond Belief” has been made about Susan and Patti, two soccer moms from the Boston area who were pregnant on 9/11 and who both lost their husbands,  and about their journey to Afghanistan.   It’s available on DVD and can be rented.

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